Zara was waiting at the top the in a floor length red dress. Her husband was on his way. She just didn't know which guy he was. She signed up for this reality show on a whim and now she was the star. She was about to meet twelve different men and she was bound to fall in love with one of them. Her nerves were high.
The limo pulled up. Out stepped a tall man with wide shoulders, dark hair and hazel eyes. He was breathtaking told an adorable joke and walked inside, he was perfect.
Next stepped out a pale blonde with icy blue eyes. He was of a tall, slender build and had an adorable shy disposition. Also perfect.
John was next he had darker brown skin and smile that could light up the entire world. He had a voice that made every nerve of Zaras body awake. He could be it.
Zara was so confused as she continued to meet all of the other men. She felt as if most any of them could be the one. She had always felt like she would know immediately when she met the man she would spend the rest of her life with but it was exactly the opposite. She thought about 5 different men would be amazing husbands.
Zara thought things would clear up as she went on dates with the men but they didn't. She continued to fall in love with five of them. When hometowns came around she couldn't send one of them home. And decided to keep them all.
It came time for proposals and she said yes to all five. She started to panic would they all 5 agree to being married to her! The next day she called them all over to her house and explained how she felt. They had a short discussion and decide they all wanted to marry her still.
This story is based on Draupadi who had five husbands, what a queen. It comes from part A of
Hi Maddie, I really enjoyed your Bachelorette and Mahabharata twist that you had going. My girlfriend is an avid Bachelorette fan, and sometimes she FORCES me to watch it with her against my will! However, I have to admit, sometimes it's foolishly entertaining. I will never truly admit it to her that I can sometimes enjoy it though.
ReplyDeleteDid you consider adding some of the named in for the 5 different guys she decides to marry? You gave some descriptions of each, but maybe names could establish more of a connection between your story and the next reader. Still, I thought it was a very clever twist with the two big time story plots you connected here.
One different suggestion I would give, and that I've given multiple people would be to add in some dialogue! I didn't realize it, but every story we've read at the beginning of each week has some form of dialogue in it. It helps so much with the flow of your story. Dr. Gibbs recommended it to me earlier this semester and I have enjoyed it very much with my own stories!
Hello Maddie! What a creative twist to the Mahabharata! I am not much of a Bachelor or Bachelorette fan myself. With that said, I watch it quite a bit because my girlfriend loves it, haha! I even see my guy Pilot Pete up front. You did a great job incorporating new details and using your unique storytelling to create a very fun to read story.
ReplyDeleteHello Maddie. I like that you decided to add a twist to the story we read by tying it into the Bachelorette. It definitely sets the story to be filled with lots of drama. I also think that the idea of five of the contestants agreeing to marry the bachelorette is kind of funny. Cool story.
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